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Relationship

See How God saves you from toxic relationship.

God loves his children to the point that he speaks to them directly or indirectly because He cherished his children. Many died in toxic relationships not because God did not care about their well-being but because they fail to realise or recognise the various signals God want them to see for them to get out of such relationships.

Toxic relationships is one of the lead cause or factor of depression today in every part of the world. Do you think God doesn’t care about how careless His children are becoming?

Communication:The stability and pitfall of marriage

Of course He does; but because his children no longer yearn for a relationship with him, they easily fall prey of toxic relationships.

You may want to know or even ask what a toxic relationship entails or how ask how God jettison his children from such mess caused through toxic relationships.

In this articles I will teach you what toxic relationships entails whether emotional relationship or otherwise and how God eventually delivers his children from being a victim of such relationship.

Five salient relationship killers you must avoid

The word toxic for the purpose of these articles means something that is negatively or severely harmful to one’s health or one’s overall being. Thus, a harmful or a toxic relationship is such that causes the victim depression, emotional torment and it’s often fueled with lies deceit and distrust.

How do you know you are in a toxic relationship?

You know you are in a toxic relationship when your supposed partner feels more comfortable being with his or her ex.

You are in a toxic relationship when your supposed partner never apologizes for his or her wrongs but find a way to turn the tables around or against you thereby making me feel guilty and become unnecessarily apologetic causing you emotional torment.

You are in a toxic relationship when your supposed partner fails to do the needful or find it difficult to set a clear goal of what he or she want for his or her life or for the relationship in question .

Another way is when such a partner usually come up with excuse to divert every discussion that is goal-driven on the basis of hiding his weakness and subjecting you to unnecessary assumption.

You are in a toxic relationship when you’re supposed partner looks good at your expense to feel comfortable with his or her ex while you beg for his attention and even compare him to do what he supposed to do.

You are in a toxic relationship as a woman or a young girl if you are the sole financier of that relationship and the guy in question brings nothing to the table financially or even idealistically to help solve problems but rather becomes the major problem of the relationship and yet tells you that he has seen a thousand and one shits and as such doesn’t care about what comes may.

You are in a toxic relationship when your partner feel comfortable not taking a risk but believe what will be will be and as such folds his or her arms to watch things be and yet hates to be called lazy and unserious.

How God saves you from toxic relationship
How God saves you from toxic relationship

Remember that weenie families I talked about last year in one of my articles concerning his farm yard?

After planting his crops and decide not to weed; I mean clear off the weeds on the basis of “what will be will be”, certainly that farmyard became a forest because he failed to take responsibility. so also is a relationship built on the basis of “what will be will be”. Nothing will be until you do the needful.

You are in a toxic relationship when your partner join force to compare you with his ex or her ex. You must know that there is nothing you will do for such partner that will be hundred percent appreciated rather he or she sees the act of you helping as opportunity to suck you dry or siphon you and make you emotionally frustrated and when you complain you are termed a nagging partner.

If this article strikes a cord in n your memory lane, drop your comments and suggestions below to serve you better.

Breaking News: You want peace of mind? Read this 1

Categories
Mindset Faith Gospel

The lust of the eyes vs your light

Overcoming the lust of the eyes.

The eyes is one organ of the body that covet anything as it loves to behold anything. It never gets tired of looking or craving for more so long it sees it putting the entire body into trouble and settling a man’s emotions in wild fire to consume his sense of judgement making the quest for righteous living a secondary thing.

To this end, Job a wise man who eschewed evil said” I made a covenant with mines eyes; why then should I think upon a maiden “(Job 31:1). Job knew the outcome of such cravings will result in immoralities and gross darkness so he made a choice for his light to shine on. Overcoming stagnation: find out how!

Human beings  are truim being, comprising of the body, the soul and the spirit. The soul has no power to stand on its own. It’s a middle personality who yield to whichever holds the power.

That’s to say if your body is well fed by lusting after nudes photos of men and women, visiting pornographic sites, coveting what doesn’t due you, craving for more than you can have to the detriment of others against God’s will, listening to lustful conversations; you build your body to subdue your spirit and the ability to resist rape, fornication, adultery or all forms of immortality becomes weakened and the soul has no option than to yield to the body to obey his commands for lustful desires.

In same vein, when you feed your spirit man well enough by indept study of God’s word, singing psalms of praise to God, listening to edifying conversation, you build up your spirit to resist the urge to fall into the temptation of immoralites and then your soul will yield to your spirit to fulfil the law of the spirit.

The only deliverance needed to overcome lust of the eyes is to make covenant with the eyes like Job did, yielding to the commands of God. Our salvation is a gift that must be preserved by the receiver by yielding to the voice of divine instructions and exercising self discipline to overcome the lust of the eyes.Your mindset= your future

A rapist became a rapist by breaking the covenant with the eyes, allowing the eyes to wander about giving the mind much work of processing to do because the mind is bound to give interpretations to whatever the eyes crave after but your spirit man must be fed enough to decide on what to look upon and that which you desire the mind to inteprete and the out come of the picture you desire the mind to bring to bear.

No wonder paul encourages us to be transformed by the renewing of our mind so as not to fall prey to the command of the lust of the eyes as the body would love to have it.

He said in Roman’s 12:1-2 ” I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect, will of God.

Paul understood the difficulty of controlling the eyes from lusting. However because such is sometimes inevitable he further helped set a guidelines to help our minds from getting corrupted by the lustful desires of the eyes.

In Philipians 4:8 “finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Remember to whom he yield yourself to obey, his servant ye are to whom ye obey. (Roman 6:16). Life strives on the platform of choices so choose wisely whom to obey either the lust the eyes or the spirit, pleasing the Lord for righteousness exalt a nation but sin is a reproach.

Adultery, fornication, masturbation, rape and many more are all reproaches capable of quenching your glorious light from shining for men to see. David lost it to the lust of eyes, Samson lost to same and I hope you don’t lose yours.

Categories
Relationship Marriage and family

Easy guide to a successful courtship

Courtship is the period of time that both parties agreed to get married while engagement is the actual agreement to marry someone or the act of accepting a marriage proposal.

It may involve more people who may be there to witness it . A relationship is the way in which two or more people are connected to each other.  It is the way two or more people behave towards each other or deal with each other.

It begins with communication whether formal or informal. Every successful courtship is built on effective communication as love without communication cannot sustain a good relationship.

It’s takes effective communication for both parties to overcome and manage their differences and similarities. You can read my article on communication the stability and pitfall of marriage.

There are processes in relationship that leads to marriage. It’s not automatic.  It start from getting to know each other.

Here are some of the tips for successful courtship.

  1. Spend quality time together Time is one major resources that when wasted cannot be reversed or redeemed. It takes time to nurture love, to study one another in order to know each other’s strength and weaknesses. Both parties must spend quality time not in gazing competition but in effective funful discussions about the past, present and the future.

 

  1. Don’t give unnecessary graphics. Graphics are images which can either affect the mind negatively or positively. The period of courtship is not for nude photos advert.Truth is sending your partner your nude photos will only fill his or her mind with sex fill thought which may hinder his/her productivity at work or business place. It won’t help build him/her up for a better husband or wife.
  2. Tell one another about the past and be truthful about it. Keep no secret but keep some secret. Haha. Not all secret connected to the past are worth discussing. Ensure your partner is matured enough to handle such past in your present otherwise it may ruin your relationship.

What am saying is that before discussing that disgusting past life with your would be husband or wife, you must discuss like it’s about your friend and watch his or her reaction. This will give you a hitch as to whether or not he or she is matured enough to handle the truth of your past. However don’t hide your child from your partner if you a single parent. Be proud of who you have become.

  1. Be transparent to each other and discuss your likes and dislikes.

Tell your partner about your friends and family. Let your cousin not turn out to be your ex. Strive to build trust for one another. If you are indebted don’t keep it to yourself. Discuss how you got involved and how you intend to get out of such indebtness. Its better your partner knows about your ugly side directly from you than from a third party.

  1. Set boundaries in your relationship Hebrew13:4. Be disciplined emotionally. Courtship is not time to jump from one bed of fornication to another. Daniel.1:8. Let your yes be yes and your No No! Set boundary for your expenditure. Just as too much food can lead to obesity so also is over spending can lead to poverty.

Have a relationship goal because if you fail to do so you won’t be able to set goal for your marriage.

  1. Explain each family members to yourselves. Don’t go into courtship with an unserious person. Know something about your partner family upbringing to understand his/her strength and weaknesses.

So even if your partner is an orphan there must be someone somewhere he/she calls family. Find time to visit because you are on the verge of becoming part of his or family member so you must know at least few of them.

  1. Develop pleasure in common Interest Know your partner areas of interest so you both can build together. Marriage is a team work and you must start working as a team in your courtship period. Developing pleasure in areas of common interest will help you share creative ideas with each other and also strengthen that emotional bond.
  2. Don’t run away with anybody and don’t engage in premarital sex in the name of supposed marriage. That you run away with anybody today doesn’t mean you will both end up as husband and wife.

Truth is most run away lovers end up marrying someone else other than the person they ran away with.

  1. Dress properly when going to see your in-law. Don’t over dress. Be moderate. Over dressing can put you into trouble. You know what I mean in regards to family members. Don’t dress beyond your level of income and don’t dress shabishly too. First impression matters. Court attention by all means in your dress sense but not too expensive.
  2. Discuss intelligently when you are with your in-law. Be polite and courteous and be of few words. Don’t be a parrot. Be friendly a bit. Don’t be over serious. Give your in-law the impression that their son or daughter is in a safe hand.
  3. When you are going to see your in-law to be, carry a gift alongside with you but not too expensive. Let them know that you are giver. Buy what he/she likes. A man’s gift makes room for him. Win people over in case your partner plans to run away with someone else tomorrow, that gift can make the family take side with you
  4. Once you have been accepted by your in-laws to be, maintain communication with them even when you are eventually married.
    Note: Peace at heart with someone is a pointer to a would be spouse. Not everybody in church is marriageable. Prepare before you marry. Protect your spouse from family member’s criticism. Love your in-laws no matter what.

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